


A leap of faith

by elephantsinthestars



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, POV Yasmin Khan, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:54:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27957965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elephantsinthestars/pseuds/elephantsinthestars
Summary: (this is my first fic ever and I'm not a native speaker, pls be nice lol)This is a headcon where Yaz is the Doctor's only companion.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	A leap of faith

I watched her as she stared into nothingness, the warm light of the fireplace caressing her face. She insisted on having a couple days off and making the Tardis as cosy as possible. Though I’m sure the universe will need her very soon and she won’t let Jack deal with it because she just feels too much responsibility, but the thought of having a few days of rest, maybe getting to know the Doctor a little better, I have to admit sounds rather nice. I let my eyes linger on her outfit. She’s wearing something different for a change: a white blouse that’s somewhere between business and romantic, paired with black flared trousers. She looks stunning.

I must have been staring, because suddenly she stands up and walks over. Her eyes meet mine and it’s as though she’s peering into my soul. She stares a bit too long, too intently. My cheeks quickly turn red and I look down, too caught off guard to say a word. It feels like there’s a rave going on inside my stomach but I’m not invited. I search for her eyes again, her eyes which have undoubtedly seen more than anyone can bear and still reveal such immeasurable strength and beauty than- wait why am I thinking all this? For a moment I don’t know what to do with myself. 

“Don’t think anyone’s stopping by today” the Doctor declared. I laughed. “That’s sort of what you get when you’re in a Tardis in the middle of an abandoned part of space.” She looked as if I saw through her and she smiled a bit awkwardly. “Right. I suppose you’ve got a point there.” Trying to pull herself together, she sits down next to me on the couch. I can feel the energy changing, it feels heavier and lighter at the same time. She clears her throat and seems to tense up.

“Yaz… I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something… for a while now.” I freeze, not wanting to make the wrong movements or give her a weird look. She sighs. “I don’t know how to even begin. I’m not good with this sort of thing. Pretty rubbish, in fact…” I stop breathing for a second. Where is this going?

“You’ve probably noticed I’ve been very… protective of you lately… and I know that bothers you sometimes because maybe you think I don’t have faith in you but please, never entertain that thought because nothing could be farther from the truth. I’ve never believed more in someone’s competence and resilience. The reason I’ve been so… close, is that I’m scared of losing you, which would mean I would never get to see more of the way you interact with the universe or hear the wise things you say or… see that bright smile across your adorable face.” My heart skips a beat. Could she… feel the same way? I don’t think I even acknowledged that for myself yet. My mind is going in overdrive. 

“I don’t think I could cope with that.” she continues. “I... I’ve grown quite fond of you. Oh, sod it! I’m in love with you, Yaz. At least, that’s the only thing that feels true right now.”

Her posture starts to appear more relaxed, as if this had been really weighing on her. I breathe out deeply. A sense of relief and excitement falls over me. My mind is going so fast, I don’t know how to respond. Things are falling into place but why do I feel like I’m about to combust? I try to regulate my breathing.

All I can do is look deep into her big, hopeful eyes and just about utter the words “Kiss me.” For a split second, she looks stunned. Then immediately composes herself and gives me a look no one’s ever given me before. Her eyes sparkling even more than usual.

She grabs my waist and I swear my body melts right into her palms. I feel every cell in me craving her, any coherent thought leaving my mind. Her smell is so soothing, I suspect it’s lavender, but it’s subtle. There’s something else in there I can’t put my finger on. I guess she just smells like the Doctor, a timeless scent so very her and so comforting. Like you’re finally home, really home. I notice the fog inside my head has been lifted, there is no shame festering inside of me. It’s been a part of me for so long, it’s easy to forget it was still there, lingering. 

Her fingers curl up against my shoulder as if hesitating to proceed. I take hold of her hand before it loses its course and gently guide it to my flushed cheeks. She rests her hand, proceeding to hold my face a bit tighter, while pressing her lips together as though warming them up to meet mine. Before I can even question whether this is really happening, I feel her breath as she closes the space between us with a deep, passionate kiss. A silent moan escapes me.

The way she holds me makes me feel so protected in a way I didn’t know I longed for. How she treats my lips as if they’re a delicacy, fuels a passion in me I’ve never felt before. “Doc- please” I breathe. She parts her lips a little in response and before doubt settles in, I rest my head against hers. I softly take her head in my hands as I let my nose touch her forehead, taking it all in. She gladly takes advantage of the situation and starts a trail of kisses down my neck. A desperate sound coming from the back of my throat, fills the room. The Doctor can’t hide how much that pleases her. 

“Yaz” she whispered, almost gasping. She looks at me with the most loving look in her eyes. “Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are?” 

The biggest smile appears on my face. “You do sound very convincing.” She smiles flirtatiously and lays her head on my shoulder, relaxing her body into mine. I play with her hair until her breathing slows down, indicating she’s asleep. I have no idea how I’ll do the same and to be honest, I don’t think I want to.


End file.
